Hope
by AleshaaaRose10
Summary: What if after baby Lila died Sam got PTSD from the event? This is her journey through the battle of PTSD with Jason by her side every step of the way. One-Shot


**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of General Hospital or the characters. But trust me, I have some awesome ideas if I did.**

**A/N: I got this idea from the PTSD talk on the show. I thought about Sam because all the common triggers (aside from war) have happened to her at some point in the show. The story takes place after baby Lila died.**

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD. Never in a million years did she think she would have anxiety quite like this. Then again she never thought so many bad things could happen in a person's life. Sure she has had a lot of bad things happen in her life she has been in several car accidents, nearly been raped, kidnapped, her mom and dad died so suddenly, she has encountered physical assault from many different attackers, and then as if that wasn't enough, her beautiful precious baby girl died. Think of it as your whole life going from perfect to chaotic in a matter of ten seconds.

She remembers the room spinning as Alexis yelled at her to save Kristina's life. She remembers the look of panic on Jason's face. The way the cold hard floor felt when she finally collapsed. When she woke up she felt disoriented like she didn't know up from down. She whispered Jason's name. She heard the cry of a little baby girl. When she asked Jason where her little girl was, his answer would haunt her the rest of her life.

"_That's not your baby Sam"_

_"How do you know, you didn't even turn around?"_

_"There was-"_

_" Jason, where is she, I wanna see her please . Jason where is she?"_

_" Sam your baby died."_

_"No. No! I wanna see my baby!"_

_"Sam she was still born!"_

_"Jason I wanna see her, I wanna see a nurse, I just wanna hold her please!"_

_" I know this is hard"_

_"Please I just want to see my baby."_

_"The doctors' did everything they could you had a condition, eruption of the placenta, something went wrong"_

Everything is kind of a blur after that. I remember Jason trying to hold me, restrain me from hurting myself. I was screaming, crying. A nurse came running in giving me medication to fall asleep.

I wake up determined to find my little girl. What Jason told me can't be true, can it? There is no way the world can be so cruel. They have already taken so much from me, why would they take the one thing that is the most innocent.

I walk to the nursery. Look in the window. Hoping that she's there, praying really. I ask the nurse, she gives me a pity glance. Jason walks over to us. That's when I knew.

_" Sam, she's not in there."_

_" Then, where is she Jason."_

_"At..the funeral home."_

_" That's the cruelest, cruelest thing a person can say to a mother. Do you know that?"  
>" I'm sorry but it's the truth."<em>

I collapsed, sobs escaping my body. Jason catches me, and together we sink to the nursery floor broken.

I didn't get to leave the hospital with a birth certificate or a baby, or even a baptismal to plan. I left the hospital with a certificate of death and a funeral to attend.

As I was getting ready to attend the funeral I realized this was the only event of my daughter's that I will ever attend. No birthdays, graduations, weddings, first days of school, no anything.

At the end of the ceremony Jason and I go to the grave. It's a weird, but painful feeling to see your child grave.

The next day I had to take down the nursery. Seeing a crib and such that's never going to be used is just too painful. So I got rid of everything.

That's when the flashbacks started.

_She was just sitting on the couch when the first flashback happened . She saw a commercial for baby wipes. She sees Alexis screaming and she feels the cold floor. She starts screaming as she see Jason telling her the news. _

_"Sam she was still born!"_

_"Jason I wanna see her, I wanna see a nurse, I just wanna hold her please!"_

_" I know this is hard"_

_"Please I just want to see my baby."_

_"The doctors' did everything they could you had a condition, eruption of the placenta, something went wrong"_

"Sam, " Jason says ,rushing to her side. " Sam," he forces, fighting back tears.

"Sam," he says again, reaching a cautious hand out to touch her shoulder. Her eyes look at him, but she's not here.

" Hey Sam, Samantha, it's me, it's Jason" he says softly " Look at me. It's Jason. You're ok . You're ok."

Suddenly she snaps out of it, he can tell, her eyes focus again.

She collapses into his chest and sobs. He holds on to her as tightly as he can. Because he is saving her as much as she is saving him.

" You had a flashback of the night Lila died?"  
>"Yes" she chokes between sobs.<p>

The flashbacks start happing more and more often each one more and more intense. She'll have nightmares too, each one worst then the last. She'll wake up screaming and crying and Jason will hold on to her and whisper kind things in her ear. She'll go days without sleeping just to avoid nightmares. The littlest weirdest things would set her off, into a flashback. Her memory slowly started to curb.

Jason was the one who suggested counseling . At first she refused. Later that day when she had a flashback, she changed her mind. Jason went with her to her first appointment. It helped a lot having someone you love there to support you. The doctor told her that her flashbacks and other symptoms were from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD. It's common for mothers who lose their children suddenly and unexpectedly. With intense therapy and other factors you can overcome the flashbacks and nightmares. She left the office, hand and hand with Jason, feeling better then she had in a really long time. She would beat this thing.

Two years later Jason and Sam get married. Everything's perfect. There perfect. Sam hasn't had a flashback or a nightmare in a year. She still has her good days and bad days , but who doesn't. She was a vision in her white gown. He looked dashing in his tux. Saying "I do." was the simplest and easiest thing for them to say.

A year later they welcome a new baby girl into the world. She's healthy and beautiful. What more could they ask for. They name her Hope, because after everything they had been through together it was all because they had hope in one day getting to this moment. They never will forget Lila, one of the first trips Hope had out of the hospital was Lila's memorial. She will always know about the her older sister. Who might not be here, but she is in heaven looking down on them.

**A/N 2: Ok so this went into a totally different direction then I initially planned. I am not totally sure if I like the ending. But I am proud of it. I would love if you reviewed this story. Please and Thank you. **


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